It’s Been Real

Pretending To Know What I'm Doing

So here we are, three months later and finally submitting my final blog post. It’s been fun, really it has. However, I can’t say that I’ll miss it. As stated in last blog post, I’ve been running dry on material and topics to discuss and it’s really taken a toll on my mental and physical health. (Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration but it’s been tough.) Anyway, what I think I learned most from this experience is that blogging is hard, blogging about yourself is even harder, and more than anything I have learned that I really am just pretending to know what I’m doing.

Throughout this experience I’ve only gotten lucky that such strange and bizarre happenstances keep occurring in my life and I’ve been so fortunate to be bumbling through life unable to properly tip the waitstaff at a restaurant, otherwise I would have nothing to write about 3…

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Running Low

Pretending To Know What I'm Doing

You know what’s really hard? Coming up with a blog post to write 3 times a week for almost 4 months. It’s hard, man. I mean for the most part I get lucky because sometimes I’m not the brightest bulb in the bunch and I also tend to lead a generally awkward and confusing existence so there is to some degree a constant supply of material. However, it’s hard to dig up.

Imagine I actually had ample IQ points and knew how to put gas in my car, or write a letter, or leave a tip! Think about what it would be like if I wasn’t a hypocondriac and didn’t think I was dying of Ebola every other week only to consult Google rather than an actual doctor. Or what if I wasn’t paranoid and afraid that a stranger was going to abduct me at all hours of the day…

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Bedtime

Pretending To Know What I'm Doing

One thing that has always freaked me out is the way life seems to go full circle. When you’re young you need help being taken care of, you only can really eat soft foods because your teeth aren’t developed, going to the bathroom can be a challenge sometimes, and your brain isn’t fully developed so early bedtimes and lots of sleep are a must.

When you get older however all of these things are also true, as you become incapable of taking care of yourself like when you were young. Suddenly your body needs more care for it than it did when you were 20 or 30 and you need to take care accordingly.

One thing I’ve noticed this to be the most true about is sleep. When you’re young you have an early bedtime because your little brain and body can’t stand to be tired and when you’re old…

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Expired

Pretending To Know What I'm Doing

Last week, I wrote a blog post about how my license had expired about 3 days ago and how I completely messed up and can’t follow directions. The Monday before that, I wrote a blog post about it being my 21st birthday and how while cool, was just a great big waste of money.

Well.

Last night I went to the Lightning game against the Dallas Stars and it was oodles and doodles of fun and a great night overall. However, at one point I got up to get myself a nice adult beverage and handed my ID off to the bartender who accepted it and began to procure my drink, until suddenly he paused. He asked me for my ID back. In my mind I was thinking, ok sure, take a look, I know the dates are pretty close to now so maybe you don’t know what day it…

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Read and Follow Directions

Pretending To Know What I'm Doing

I think I’m pretty smart, but when it comes to common sense sometimes I’d have to categorize myself as one of the duller colors in the crayon box. I know, that seems shocking considering some of my previous blog posts about not knowing how to tip, send mail, fill my gas tank, seeing doctors, and so on and so forth. However, today I’ve found that there’s something else I’m not well-versed in: following directions.

In my defense, I do (literally) have attention deficit and sometimes my mind takes off in a thousand different directions. However, most of the time my shortcomings just come from carelessness and an inability to listen all the way through sometimes.

I say this because about two months ago my dad got in the mail at his house a form about my driver’s license. He called me asking when I could get a new one or…

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Here’s A Tip

Pretending To Know What I'm Doing

Last night I went out to eat at one of my favorite restaurants and sat down in a familiar section with my server being someone I am familiar with from eating there so often. Usually the waitress is decently friendly to me, however over time I noticed this begin to change. Last night in particular, she seemed more irritated than usual to be serving me and I just couldn’t understand why. I asked my sister, who was at the table with me if she noticed an attitude from the waitress as well and she agreed with me. I started to get annoyed and we whispered about her service throughout the meal up until the check finally came, which she dropped off with a little bit of aggression. At this point, I was filling out the information on the check, specifically the tip, when suddenly my sister spoke up. She asked…

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The End of Sugar

Pretending To Know What I'm Doing

I love sugar. If I could eat cake and cookies all day everyday then I would and I especially love candy. I’ve even said before that I think I have a sugar addiction. However, one thing I’ve been learning the hard way over time is that the older you get the less sugar you can eat without feeling like you’re going to topple over and die of a massive heart attack or vomit. This of course is not even to mention the health and weight repercussions are twice as severe the older you get.

This is a harsh reality I’m also currently suffering from and my stomach is doing flips at this very moment. Having just celebrated my birthday all weekend, the amount of crappy food, sugar and sugary drinks I have consumed is frightening. I also woke up this morning to a stack of donuts with birthday candles in them…

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