Welcome to Reflect Student Ministries! We are a community of missionaries on campus who seek to reach every corner of campus with various focus groups. Of course, because you have been a consistent member of your university’s chapter for a year now, you already know this.
Choose your gender – Female
This past school year was a big year of personal, intellectual, and spiritual growth. Your relationship with Jesus has never been stronger, and you prioritize your faith and attendance to various focus groups throughout the week. The leaders in your life suggested that you begin leading a focus group and, after praying about it, you felt like God might be calling you to do just that.
Reflect’s leadership training course is six weeks long. You and the other potential new leaders go through small classes led by senior leaders to learn about how to lead a Bible study, how to maintain your own prayer life, and how to share your faith with others. At the end of these classes, you decide that you do, in fact, think that leading a focus group is for you.
The focus group that needs leaders right now is the women’s focus group. As a new leader,, it will be easiest to begin leading a well-established group. Once you have some experience leading, you may decide to start your own, more specific group or lead something else.
Leading women’s focus group
Leading a focus group, if that were all you were doing, would be hard enough work as it is. You are still a university student, so you need to study to keep your grades up – especially because your scholarship depends on it. Your friends need your attention, and so do your small group members. In addition, you have begun dating a boy, Jacob, in your community and he, like the rest of the world (or so it seems) needs your attention. Your faith and personal prayer life need to take first priority, but after that it seems as though everything is vying for your time and it is often difficult to know what to prioritize.
Continue: Friday night
You have a few assignments due next week, but you have no Friday classes. There is plenty of time today, then, to get those done and study for your exam on Tuesday. You still have to plan for focus group before Wednesday night and meet with your accountability partner, but you feel comfortable giving yourself the night off.
You do not often get to hang out with your friends during the week. They miss you, but they have been really good at understanding this shift in your life. If you are honest, you miss when you could spend all your free time with them, but this semester has been way busier than you ever expected.
Your boyfriend, Jacob, would also love to spend his Friday night with you. You two see each other throughout the week, but it is usually in passing. When girls post Snapchats or on Instagram about spending every day with their boyfriends, you can’t help but get jealous. Your last “real date” was weeks ago and it feels like half the time you are spending time with him, your brain goes to the twelve other things you probably should be doing. This week has been far less busy, though, and it would be nice to spend time with him without having to worry about assignments or anything academic. You are pretty sure, even, that you could actually enjoy a night with him rather than feeling anxious about it.
A girl from class did tell you about a frat party happening tonight, though. You do not usually party, but you know another acquaintance will be there that you have been wanting to spend more time with – and maybe even invite to your focus group, if you get close enough to her. She usually leaves right after class and, though you have shared some quips and jokes during class, you are never quite quick enough to catch up with her and make real plans to hang out. Another leader in Reflect, a good friend of yours, has experience in going to parties evangelically and you are pretty sure he would come along if you asked him to. He knows most of the people that will be there, and he would definitely keep you accountable if you brought him along. You wonder if the environment would be overwhelming or tempting, but the thought of letting loose a little bit sounds pretty exciting if you are honest.
You text your friends and promise you will make plans soon. By the time you have decided how you are spending your Friday night, the girl who invited you to the party is already pretty intoxicated (if her snap story is any indication). Jacob, though, is thrilled that you have chosen him. Honestly, you do not usually put him first. Not that you do not love him – at least, you are pretty sure you do – but you tend to prioritize your small group members and the other women in your community. Add in academics and he is lucky if you talk to him more than once a week, let alone go out with him.
You both have different ideas about what you want to do tonight.
Jacob wants to take you out to dinner. He has been incredibly supportive this semester and tries as hard as he can to understand your busy schedule, but he wants to splurge on you whenever he can. You are definitely not opposed, but getting dressed up for a nice night out sounds like a lot of work, as fun as you know it would be.
You want to go to the mall. You have some stuff to get anyway, and you just heard a friend talking about the cutest date ever – a Build a Bear date. She loved it and had a great time. Jacob is significantly less enthused than you are to make a teddy bear with you, but you know you can convince him to bring you and he will probably end up having fun when you get there. You both always find a way to enjoy dates the other suggested, and you are sure this will be no exception.
You both always enjoy going to the beach – especially at night. Seeing the stars is something you miss being from a small town and Jacob loves the sound of the waves. You are pretty convinced that the shore is the closest you can get to Heaven on this world. The best beach is pretty far away, though, and you are both exhausted. You hate the thought of Jacob trying to drive the hour back knowing how tired he is, and he would never tell you no if he knew you wanted to go – he knows how happy it makes you. It is something that both of you cherish, though, and you might just be over-worrying.
You could always just stay in. It has been a long week and you have a list of films you want to watch together – you might as well watch them whenever you have time. Besides, trying to go anywhere involves planning and gas money and both of you spend a lot throughout the week on your focus group members. Besides, this way you can talk and catch up about the week you have had and be alone for a little while.
You decide to just stay in tonight. Before you even get to his door, you can smell the popcorn he is making from down the hall. You claim your normal spot on his futon, among the throw pillows – half of which you picked out. As you go through your list of films, you notice that it is getting late but choose not to say anything. You have set boundaries with some of the women in Reflect and you technically are not supposed to be in his room after midnight. All you are doing is watching movies, though, and he lives alone so he has no roommates that are going to tell anyone how late you were there. You are falling asleep on his shoulder when you realize that midnight was hours ago and find your way back to your dorm.
As you walk into your room, you try not to wake up your roommate, knowing the first thing she’ll do is check the clock.
Today was a long day and you have no regrets, but you wonder as you go to sleep if you would change anything with the chance to do it over.
Go back to this morning